Dear Spiritual Training Diary,
what am I doing? Where am I going? Who are the people in my life and what relationship do they have to me?
Monday, two days ago, I had the first day off this month. Was awake during the night thinking of everything at once. Work, my role in work situations, why work, what is my urge, what is my knowledge, love, will I ever love, etc. Sweating, being cold. Period and pms at once.
Then cried when making fattiga riddare, talking without any sense (but with much wisdom) to roomie Amanda. Sat in the kitchen all day, friends coming by. Had no energy. Sadness.
But then went to bjj-training. Had a new black gi that I bought at the gi-loppis, a twelve-year-old boy outgrew it. Rolled, not very good, but with determination. Exhausting myself to the point of all feelings dripping off my body. After feeling happy. Grateful to have this place and people that see and appriciate me, where I have fun, look ugly, learn new stuff, get irritated, try again etc. Thank you Team Leites for being a good friend!
It's being a tough month. I've wit lots of effort and anxiety made a show with ÖFA. Blood sweat and tears, and not enough time, trust and conviction. Working at Folkoperan again. Was stomach sick and lost more kilos. Training bjj as much as I can. Biking in the spring. Got rejection on two applications. Listened a lot. Is now filled up with information that I have difficulties making sense of.
Is getting a good set up for spiderguard but need to sissor the sweep with a leg under, and follow up with a triagle or armbar.
Dear spiritual training diary,
yesterday I worked at one of my jobs (I got a bunch), one of my favourite ones, at youth center Bagishuset in Bagarmossen. And, doublewin, they had martial arts day! So I got to work AND train bjj. Score!
This guy Martin came and held bjj-training with the boys (yes 100% boys attended, girsl looking curios but not daring). It was fun doing bjj with the kidz, doing physical stuff together ofcourse breaks barriers and make us more human. Increasing empathy in eachother. Sharing sweat. So basic.
Anyway, gotto go soon. Just also wanted to mention that it was helpful fot my bjj technique to train the same thing with another teacher, who empathizes different things. Learned a superbasic takedown, actually two. That I can jump up to guard (LIKE!) and other stuff.
Got thrown landed on my head cracking my neck, so slept with some difficulty and a lot of pain.
Now googling submissions. Found this page
Decided to learn the Omoplata:
Love, now going to dance!